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Willie Wastle 
Willie Wastle 
Willie Wastle dwelt on Tweed, The spot they ca'd it Linkumdoddie. Willie was a wabster guid Could stown a clue wi onie body. He had a wife was dour and din, 0, Tinkler Maidgie was her mither! Sic a wife as Willie had, I wad na gie a button for her. 
She has an e'e (she has but ane),
 The cat has twa the very colour, Five rusty teeth, forbye a stump,
 A clapper-tongue wad deave a miller; A whiskin beard about her mou,
 Her nose and chin they threaten ither: Sic a wife as Willie had,
 I wad na gie a button for her. 
She's bow-hough'd, she's hem-shin'd,
 Ae limpin leg a hand-breed shorter; She's twisted right, she's twisted left,
 To balance fair in ilka guarter; She has a hump upon her breast,
 The twin o that upon her shouther: Sic a wife as Willie had,
 I wad na gie a button for her. 
Auld baudrans by the ingle sits, An wi her loof her face a-washin; But Willie's wife is nae sae trig, She dights her grunzie wi a hushion; Her walie nieves like midden-creels, Her face wad fyle the Logan Water: Sic a wife as Willie had, I wad na gie a button for her 
ARB