In sad despair I wandered, my heart was filled with woe. While on my grief I pondered, what to do I did not know. Since cruel fate has on me frowned, the trouble seemed to be, There is a fellow in this town the very image of me. 
Chorus: Oh, wouldn’t I like to catch him, wherever he may be, Oh, wouldn’t I give him particular fits, the fellow that looks like me. 
One evening as I started up Central Park to go, I was met by a man upon the road, saying, "Pay me the bills you owe." In vain I said, "I owe you naught," he would not let me free, Till (sic) a crowd came around and I paid the bills for the fellow that looked like me. 
(Chorus) 
One night as I was walking through a narrow street up town I was caught by a man upon the road, saying, "How are you, Mr. Brown?" He said his daughter I had wronged, though the girl I ne’er did see. He kicked me till I was black and blue for the fellow that looked like me. 
(Chorus) 
Then to a ball I went one night just to enjoy the sport, A policeman caught me by the arm, saying, "You’re wanted down to court. You’ve escaped me thrice, but this here time I am sure you can’t get free." So I was arrested and dragged to jail for the fellow that looked like me. 
(Chorus) 
I was tried next day, found guilty too, just to be taken down When another policeman just stepped in with the right Mr. Brown. They locked him up and set me free; oh wasn’t he a sight to see? The homeliest man that ever I saw was the fellow that looked like me. 
The following variant in the chorus lyrics was collected in tradition from Roscoe and Leone Parish: 
Oh, wouldn’t I like to catch him Wherever he might be The way I’d punch his punkin head The fellow that looks like me. 
file from: www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
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