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Alcoholic's Anthem 
Alcoholic's Anthem (Harold Gretton) 
What's the use of drinking tea, Indulging in sobriety, And teetotal perversity? It's healthier to booze. 
What's the use of milk and water? These are drinks that never oughter, Be allowed in any quarter. 
Come on, lose your blues, Mix yourself a shandy, Drown yourself in brandy, Sherry sweet, Or whisky neat,
 Or any kind of liquor that is handy. 
There's no blinking sense in drinking, Anything that doesn't make you stinking, There's no happiness like sinking, Blotto to the floor.Put an end to all frustration, Drinking may be your salvation, 
End it all in dissipation, Rotten to the core. Aberrations metabolic, Ceilings that are hyperbolic, These are for the alcoholic, Lying on the floor.
 Vodka for the arty,
 Gin to make you hearty,
 Lemonade was only made,
 For drinking if your mother's at the party, Just steer clear of home-made beer, And anything that isn't labeled clear, There is nothing else to fear, so Bottom's up, my boys. 
tune: Men of Harlech CB,PW