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The Anti-Garden Song 
The Anti-Garden Song (Eric Kilburn) 
CHO: Slug by slug, weed by weed, My garden's got me really teed All the insects love to feed upon my tomato plants Sunburned face, scratched-up knees My kitchen's choked with zucchinis I'm shopping at the A & P next time I get a chance. 
The crabgrass grows, the ragweed thrives, The broccoli has long since died. The only things left still alive are some radishes and beans. My carrot plants are dead and gone, Hear the rabbits sing a happy song Until you've weeded all day long You don't know what boredom means Chorus 
You get up early, work till late Watch moles and mice get overweight They eat their dinners on a plate from the hard work you have done As ye sow so shall ye reap, But I smell like a compost heap I'm gonna get that lousy creep who said gardening was fun Chorus 
(Parody of Dave Mallet's "The Garden Song") ((c)1982, Eric Kilburn) 
PE Oct00