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The Auld Man and the Churnstaff 
The Auld Man and the Churnstaff 
Oh, there was an aul' woman in oor toon, in oor toon did dwell, She loved her husband dearly, but anither yin twice as well. 
cho: Wi' mi ri fo roo fa raddy, boys, mi ri fo roo fa ran, Wi' mi ri fo roo fa raddy, may she whack for ol da dan. 
She went into the doctor's shop some medicine for to find, Sayin, "Have you any medicine wid knock an aul' man blind?" 
Oh, the doctor gave her marrow bones and bid her grind them fine, And dust them in the aul' man's eyes and that would knock him blind. 
"Oh, I am tired o' this world, I'm tired of my life, I think I'll go and droon mysel' and that'll end the strife." 
So they both went out together till they came to the river brim, But when she cam' up, he stepped aside and she went tumbling in. 
So loudly did she bawl and so loudly did she call, "An houl' your tongue," the auld man said, "Sure I can't see you at all." 
Sometimes she rose to the surface and tried to catch the brin, But the aul'd man wi' the churnstaff, he birled her farther in. 
Oh, when he tought she'd got enough, he pulled her to dry lan', Sayin' "I think the notion's oot o' your heed o' haein' anither man." 
Sam Henry's Songs of the People (original columns 1923-1939) 12 March 1927 collected by A.E. Boyd from John Parker, 77, Mayoghill, Garvagh 
DT #344 Laws Q2 DC