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Chivalrous Shark 
Chivalrous Shark (Wallace Irwin) 
The most chivalrous fish of the ocean, To ladies forbearing and mild, Though his record be dark Is the man-eating shark Who will eat neither woman nor child. 
He dines upon seamen and skippers, And tourists his hunger assuage, And a fresh cabin boy Will inspire him with joy If he's past the maturity age. 
A doctor, a lawyer, a preacher, He'll gobble one any fine day, But the ladies, God bless 'em. He'll only address 'em Politely and go on his way. 
l can readily cite you an instance Where a lovely young lady of Breem, Who was tender and sweet And delicious to eat, Fell into the bay with a scream. 
She struggled and flounced in the water And signaled in vain for her bark, And she'd surely been drowned If she hadn't been found By a chivalrous man-eating shark. 
He bowed in a manner most polished. Thus soothing her impulses wild: "Don't be frightened," he said, I've been properly bred And I eat neither woman nor child." 
Then he proffered his fin and she took it-While the passengers cheered As the vessel they neared And a broadside was fired in salute. 
And they soon stood alongside the vessel, When a life-saving dinghy was lowered With the pick of the crew, And her relatives too, And the mate and the skipper aboard. 
So they took her aboard in a jiffy And the shark stood at attention the while, Then he raised on his flipper And ate up the skipper And went on his way with a smile. 
And this shows that the prince of the ocean, To ladies forbearing and mild, Though his record be dark, Is the man-eating shark Who will eat neither woman nor child 
Reprinted in Song Fest by Dick and Beth Best
 from Nautical Lays of a Landsman by Wallace Irwin @fish @animal Copyright 1904 Wallace Irwin SOF