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The Irishman 
The Irishman 
'Twas in the merry month of May An Irishman here landed, He started out to see the sights, An Irish man so candid. He had some funny happenings He made some funny slips, I'll tell you of his troubles since Old Paddy left his ship. 
As he was strolling around the dock He spied a great big anchor. He had no idea what it was And for information hankered. He asked a man in uniform By the name of Johnny Max To point him out the son-of-a-gun Who used that great big axe. 
As he was going up the road In a tree he spied a parrot. Says, "Ain't that a pretty bird? I'll catch it or I'm a coward." He started climbing up the tree The parrot says, "What's the word?" Pat says, "I beg your pardon sir I thought you were a bird." 
Just then the parrot begun to sing "God Save the Queen" Old Pat would-a killed it there and then But its feathers they were green. He couldn't harm that color, And his anger held in check; "Oh if you were a canary bird I'd wring your yaller neck!" 
As he was going down the street he saw Some pumpkins in a wagon. He asked the man who was in the seat What the horses were a-draggin'. He told them they were donkey eggs, 
He believed it like a fool; He bought him one and took it home To hatch a little mule. 
He sat on it for four long weeks Untill the pumpkin did decay; He got disgusted with the thing And flung it far away. He scared a rabbit out of the brush He saw what ears it had, "Oh come back here yoy son-of-a-gun Don't you know that I'm your dad?" 
From Whorehouse Bells Were Ringing, Logsden Apr98