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There is a Happy Land 2 
There is a Happy Land 2 
There is a happy land Down in Duke Street Jail, Where a' the prisoners stand Tied tae a nail. Ham an' eggs they never see, Dirty watter for yer tea; There they live in misery--God save the Queen! 
There is a happy land by the `Red School' Where Miss Macdonald stands, preaching like a fool. Long legs and skinny jaws, She can fairly use the tawse On the wee bit bairnies' paws, Three times a day. 

(1) Coll. Glasgow, 1958; Hendry/Stephen Scotscape (1978), 92 [var. 5 you ne'er shall see 7 you live]. [Recorded by Robin Hall.] 

(2) Opies Lore 365, from Kirkcaldy. The name of course is variable. Cf. Ritchie Singing Street (1964), 42, an Edinburgh street song, dated to World War II; and an Ulster version in Kane (1983), 68 ("There is a boarding school"), with Fowke's note, 208. MS 

Another variant is quoted by Mark Twain: 
There is a boarding house, far, far away Where they serve [pork and beans*] three times a day. You should hear the boarders yell When they hear the dinner bell They give the landlord ____, three times a day. 
*I think I remember [pork and beans], but I could be wrong. RG MS