Hang Up Your Hat Behind The Door - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
Hang Up Your Hat Behind the Door 
I felt sick and tired of a bachelor's life, And so I began to look out for a wife; The young ones were giddy, and so I confess'd That a nice little widow would suit me the best; One day, at a grocer's shop chancing to call, With the Missis, a widow, in love I did fall, She was fat, fair and forty, well dress'd, and all that, Thinks I, here's the place where I'll hang up my hat. 
Spoken - But little did I think she'd make use of the very same words and say -Chorus. Hang up your hat behind the door that leads into the shop, Make yourself at home, John, as if you meant to stop; Nobody comes in the parlor, so don't uneasy be-Sit at your ease, so long as you please, for the place belongs o me. 
Her age, as I've said, was a couple of score. And my years would number a half dozen more, So I made up my mind to win her I'd try, And called every evening some trifle to buy; But one day she begged that I longer would stop, And step in the room at the back of the shop, I did, but so shy, continued to stand, All the while I was twirling my hat in my hand. 
Spoken- I suppose that was why she said- Chorus. 
Well, we started on every-day topics, and soon, Although over forty, we found we could spoon, For she laid her head on my manly chest, And, of course, I said everything just for the best; I proposed-was accepted-and sin?, in return, Said, "the shop that I keep is a paying concern, And when we are wed, or even before, I'll alter the name painted over the door"- Chorus.