Sarah's Young Man - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
SARAH'S YOUNG MAN Sung by Tony Pastor. 
My first love was Sarah; oh, none could be fairer Than she was, in fact, I've ne'er seen one so fair; On her I got love-sick-she was a domestic, And lived at a mansion in Louisberg Square. I ne'er shall forget her, the first time I met her, As she out of the house for the dinner beer ran; Twas love at first sight, for on the same night, I with joy was accepted as Sarah's young man. 
I oft got invited to tea, and delighted I felt at the welcome she always gave me, While sipping our Souchong we'd talk of affection, And how I enjoyed the hot muffins for tea. The servants were Sukey, a very fat cookey, Jemima, the housemaid, and kitehenmaid Fan; As one may suppose, they all had their beaux, But no one was favor'd like Sarah's young man. 
Unexpected one night I call'd, when a sight Met my view, that I scarce could believe my eyes, But, alas! 'twas too true, there a horse-guard in blue, Sat quite cosy with Sarah, who staid with surprise; And wheu I demanded a true explanation Of such heartless conduct, Miss Sarah began To laugh and grew bolder, while her great clumsy soldier Seiz'd hold of the collar of Sarah's young man. 
Saidl he cooly to me, " You're not wanted, you see. If you'll quietly take, my advice you'll walk out. Said I, "If I do, by Jove! you'll go too," When the monster began for to knock me about; While struggling, we both heard the voice of the master, The soldier with fright up the area steps ran, While I, soon as able, crawled under the table-A nice situation for Sarahs young man. 
Well, down came the master, but before him much faster Came a nasty black poodle, who scamper'd about; I tembled with fear, whene'er it came near, And dreaded its finding my hiding-place out; My breathing I smothered, but, alas! was discovered, For the poodle a sniffing and barking began; The master he lifted the cloth from the table, And dragged out from under it Sarah's young man. 
My feelings that moment I cannot describe them-My looks I am sure must have been most absurd, I glanced at my captor, then trembled and stammered-Though tryiug to speak, I could not say a word. The master he tighten'd his hold of my collar, Saying, "Who and what are you? speak out if you can-A thief or a lover? " Said I, with a stutter, "No, no, no, if you please sir, I'm Sarah's young man." 
I gave to the master all due explanation, 
He then let me go and thus ended my fright; Miss Sarah of coarse she lost her situation, And also her soldier, which served her quite right. The last time we met she was full of regret, And said, "Oh, forgive me this once if you can;" But said I, " Oh, no! fools often fall 'tween two stools, And I'm happy I'm no longer Sarah's young man."