Schneider's Ride - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
SCHNEIDER'S RIDE Parody on "Sheridan's Ride."-Recited by Gus Williams. 
From gross der river, ad broke of day, Bringin' by Brooklyn fresh dismay, Der news vas send, by a Dudchman drue. Dot der officers of der refenue Vould be ofer in less as a hour or dwo, To confiscate all der viskey dey got In Schneider's blace, or near der shbot. 
Und vilder yed dem rumors dey flew, Dill'Schneider didn'd know vat to do; So he glosed der doors, und barred dem dight, Saying, " Dey kin hammer avay mit all deir mighd; Of dey gid dem oben before id's nighd, Den I don'd know-but ve shall see Who is der schmardesd, dem or me?" For a hour or dree no resd he got Shdill Schneider shdaid righd on der shbot. 
Bud dere is a shdreed in Brooklyn down Dot isu'd bafed. dot leads righd down To Gouey Island, und vat is more (Dot's a vonder id nefer vas used before,) Id vas righd in frond of der back of der shdore, Und dere on dot road vas nine drueks uud a cart, Loading mit viskey all ready te sudart; Dey're mosd all loaded, und Schneider is gay, In den inomends he'll be 'boud a mile avay. 
Dey're off, uud noding is lef to show Yat vay dey made ub deir mind* to go, Und oferyding's mofed, yed nod a sound Kin be heered bud der veels agoin around, As dey mofe so shwifdly ofer der ground; Und Schneider looks back uud says, " (loot day," For now he's more as fife miles avay. 
Shdill jumbs dem horses, shdill on dey go, Und der vay dey mofe dot isn'd shlow, Dey're goin down hill, und fasder uud fasder, Dey're drifen ahead by Schneider, der masder, Who shducks to dem now like a boor man's blasder, For veil he knows dot if now he's dooked, He kin make ub his mind dot his goose vas cooked, So efery mussels dey pring in blay. Cause dey aind any more as den miles avay. 
Under dheir flying hoofs der road, Like a grade big mutgudder dot floweu, Und der flies dot had come all der vay from town, Now got tired und had to lay down To took a shmall resd ubon der ground; For "Schneid" uud der vagous, dem vent so fasd Dot cfen der flies gifed oud ad lasd; Der dusd vas dick und der horses gray, Und Schneider vas fifdeen miles avay*! 
Der wery firsd ding dot Schneider saw Yas der sand, und he heered der ocean roar. He shmelled der salt in der good old preeze Dot vafed ofer vere dere vasn'd some drees, Und he feld firsd rade mit his mind at ease. Und dem wery horses dem seemed to say"Ye pringed you, Schneider, all der vay From Brooklyn town und safed der viskey, But 'bou our vords 'dwas radder risky! " 
Hurrah! hurrah! for Schneider drue! Hurrah! hurrah! for der horses, doo! Und ven der shdadurs vas high uud dry, Led some bully boy mit a grockery eye Gid ub on der dob of a barrel und cry- , '' Dese is der horses dot safed der day By carting der viskey und Schneider gny From Brooklyn-dwendy miles avay! "