Theyve All Got A Wife But Me - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
Theyve all Got a Wife but Me As sung by Ben Dodge. 
A story true I'll tell to you, Of the troubles of my life; Though in love I've been-like many other men-I never could get a wife; For the girls are so shy (but I can't tell why), And sad it is to relate; Though I've tried and tried, till I've almost died, Still I cannot find a mate. 
Chorus. There's the monkey and the dog, the turtle and the frog. The fishes that swim in the sea; And the pretty little squirrel, with his tail up in a curl, Oh, they've all got a wife but me. 
When first in love, head o'er heels I dove, It was with a girl named Lize; She'd a nose hard to beat, she'd number ten feet, And a pair of codfish eyes; I offered my hand, in a style quite grand, And what do you suppose? She said very cool, that she wasn't such a fool, And she turned up her pretty little nose. 
Spoken-It made me outrageously mad to think that she went back en me after I squandered all my wealth upon her-not that I cared for the money, but I hated to realize that-
Chorus. There's the chickens and the cat, the weasel and the rat, The 'skeeter and the bumblebee; The cunning little lizard and the naughty old buzzard, Oh, they've all got a wife but me. 
My love number two, was a girl named Sue, Who clerked in a dollar store; Each day I dressed in all my best, And wandered past the door. I wrote her a letter (oh, I ought to know better), And asked her to share my lot; Next day I met her "feller, and he thumped me in the smeller, That was all the answer I got. 
Spoken- Oh, I tell you it is a horrible thing to contemplatejust to think that I am left to enjoy single wretchedness, while-
Chorus. There's the horse and the steer, the goat and the deer, The hornet, the wasp and the flea; The fussy little coon, and the ugly old baboon, Oh, they've all got a wife but me.