The Dude - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
THE DUDE. 
Who strolls the Ave. each afternoon; Who whistles airs all out of tune; And dons short coats cut quite too " soon '"! The Dude. 
Observe his form.. You can, for he Wears pants aa tight as tight can be(And pants for notoriety)--The Dude. 
Who's stiff as statue cut in wood; Can't bend, and wouldn t if he could: A sort of nothing 'twixt the bad and good? The Dude. 
Who wears his hair all nice and banged, And says, " By Jove, that Mrs. LangtRy's chawming quite, or I'll be hanged"? The Dude. 
Who drives a tandem through the park, Says, "Life's, aw, such a jolly lark" (Perhaps the Dude's the long-songht " Snark ")? The Dude. 
Who goes to all receptions, teas; Who smirks a smile at friends he sees, And, for his health, sips saugarees? The Dude. 
Who dresses in the latest style, Declares: " The weathah's thimply vile," And lisps some dainty swear, the while? The Dude. 
Who's neither fool, nor knave, nor sage, This funny speck on nature's page-Conundrum of the modern age? The Dude. 
Who. then, can work the puzzle through-Tell what it's for-what it can do? Guess what it is, I'll give it you. The Dude.