The Lovers' Telegraph - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
THE LOVERS' TELEGRAPH. Written and sung by Sam Devere. 
When first I went to see my gal, We courted in the dark; But her father and her mother and cross-eyed brother Would listen while we'd spark; So I bought the new invention, then, And gave them all the laugh; 'Twas a string with a tin box on each end, Called the lovers' telegraph. 
Chorus. Oh! the new invention is awful nice-I know 'twould make you laugh To hear the very funny things we said Through the lovers telegraph. 
When next I went to see my gal I had very little to say; I gave her one end of the new machine, And sat about twenty feet away; The old folks thought we acted strange, And called me a great big calf; But they didn't know how the old thing worked Through the lovers' telegraph.-Chorus. 
Said I, "sweet angel, dost thou know I lovest thee the best ?" The answer came so soft and sweet"Oh! George, pull down your vest!" When I asked her if she'd fly with mo To the land of the wild giraffe? She answered back-" How are you fixed?" Through the lovers' telegraph.-Chorus. 
Love went flying through the string, Till her brother found us out; And then he whispered to his dad What we had been about. The old man gently raised his hoof, Nearly splitting me in half; He busted a hole in my new pants