Keiser, Der Yer Vant To Buy A Dog - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
Keiser, der Yer Vant to Buy a Dog? Written and sung by Gus Williams. 
Ash I dook a lemonade de onderer day, At a blace dat's over der vay, Yen a fellar comes in, und called for a glass of gin. Den to me be did say: "Keiser, der yer vant to buy a dog? He'll make goot sausage meat, He's ash light ash a fairy, dough not very heary, Und he ontly has got dree feets." 
Chorus. Oh, didn't dat dog look sweet, Mit his stumpy dail und ontly dree veets, I told him to gone out mit dat dog, He sait he vould vcn he got an egg-nog, But ash be vent drough de door he loutly'did roar: "Say, Keiser, der yer vant ter buy a dog? " 
I followed him, I gannot tole you vy, Und I hit him off his mout und in de eye, Yen a boliceman made a start und dook de fellar's part, Saying for dat I should die. He didn t dake me home off de door. But to der jail, do you see, Und mit his leetle club he bit me a rub, Mit a vicked rough laugh at me.-Chorus. 
Zoon after dat I met him at a ball, Und on his nose vas a bile, He'd de boodle on his arm, vich looked like a charm, Und its stumpy dail vas vagging all der vile; I vent unt took mine oats dat very night, Und sait dat boodle I vould kill, Yen it come off mine side und lait down und died, Und I sent it to der sausage mill.-Chorus.