My Wife Is So Awfully Thin - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
My Wife is so Awfully Thin. Words and Music by Gus Williams. 
You've heard aboud a gal I lov'd. Dot used to be so stout; How she "shook me," und just because I vouid not take her out To balls and parties, und all dot Vhich I dought vas a sin; But now I've got a new sweetheart, Und she is awful thin. 
CHORUS. She is so thin, dot vere she here. You could not see her: don't dot seem queer! Bad luck have I, oh, I shall die! My wife is so awfully thin. 
Vere I first met dis female straw, 'Dwas at a coundry fair; She vas valking "long mit her ma'ma, Und had such nice blonde hair. I spoke to her, she spoke to me, Ve got acquainted den; Ve married vere, und after dot She commenced to grow thin. 
Spoken-She is the thinnest of the thin; she used to work in an Insdrument factory, cleaning out flutes. I used to blay ' Hide and Seek " mit her, und she used to hide in de gas-pipe. I took her out riding vonce, and I grabbed her instead of de whin; I never took her out after dot. I vas valtzing mit her at a ball vonce, und de floor manager come up und said: " Young man, you vill have to leave your cane in de hat room, it's not allowed In de floor: " I told him 'twas no cane, but my vife. De oder day vile ve vas out valking, I saw a man selling leedle red balloons for ten cents; I bought vone, und give it to her to hold-she vent up, balloon und all; I hav'n't seen her since, but-Chorus.