The Bedbug - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
THE BEDBUG Recited by Pete Cannon. 
Twas on one Summer's evening, In the merry month of June, When all the city sewers Were"3ending forth perfume. It was in the middle of the night. The truth all for to state, A creature of heroic blood Was forced to meet his fate. 
Just about the hour of one o'clock, When Michael Flacy woke, And sat down on a three-legged stool, All for to have a smoke. But before he'd time to light his pipe, I vow and do declare, He saw a dreadful creature, That looked most awful queer. 
A bed-bug stood forninst him, The largest ever known; He pretended not to notice Mike, But chewed upon a bone. Perhaps you don't believe me, But without a word of lie, If he didn't weigh three hundred pounds, I hope I'll never die. 
Thin Michael wint and leased A great big carving knife; He thought it was no treason, To take the creature's life. If Buffalo Bill had seen him, I'm sure he would have fled. But Michael Flacy-noble Mike, Was not the least in dread. 
Then Michael started for the beast, Being full of self-reliance; With his heart right in his breast, Being full of self-defiance. But the bed-bug understood the move, And before that Michael knew, He knocked him down upon the floor. And beat him black and blue. 
Then Michael he got up And struck out for him once more, And stabbed the bed-bug to rhe heart, And left him in his gore. To give the devil's imp his due, He was both brave and bold, But now he's dead and in his grave, To himself may it be told. 
Then Michael called a neighbor in. 
His name was Paddy Moore, And asked him did he ever see Such a bed-bug beast before. Says he, it's not a bed-bug, But the beast belongs to me, I brought it home with me last night, 'Tis a turtle, don't you see. 
Then come all you bed-bug turtles. Wherever you may roam, Don't go floundering about In Micky Flacy's room; For if you do you'll surely rue The day you come to life, For Michael Flacy will be there, All with his carving knife.