The Musical Wife - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
THE MUSICAL WIFE. 
How I wish that my wife would not practice all day, My head is ready to split, It snows, so I can't get out of her way, But at home all the morning must sit. How little I thought, when I first heard her sing, And hung o'er her harp with delight. The sorrows a musical partner might bring, Who would practice from morning till night. Oh! beware, ye young men, of a musical wife, For Eliza's fine voice is the plague of my life! 
"Eliza, my love, I've a letter to write, Pray, cease for a moment, my dear." ' Good heavens!" she cries, ' you forget that to-night, Ned Seguin and Frazer'll be here-Anguera has promis'd to bring his guitar, Rametti will play on the flute, So I'm trying a second to ' Young Lochinvar,' Which Miss Stone will perform on the lute!" Oh! beware, young men. of a musical wife, For Eliza's fine voice is the plague of my life! 
Last week, in the Senate, on Tuesday's debate, We never divided till three, When, tir'd and exhausted. I hurried home late, How I long'd for a cup of green tea; But. alas, neither tea nor repose could I get, For Keyser And Lange were there, And my wife was performing a fav'rite quartette, So I went to the club in despair. Oh! beware, young men, of a musical wife, For Eliza's fine voice is the plague of my life! 
An office was vacant-the postmaster gave The place to my brother through me, I was out-so the messenger carried his note To Eliza-while singing a glee. But, surrounded, alas! by her musical choir, My wife could not think of my brother; So the luckless appointment was toss'd in the fine, And the offie-was given to another. Oh! beware, young men, of a musical wife, For Eliza's fine voice is the plague of my life! 
Yet they tell me, alas! that I ought to be blest, In a wife with so perfect an ear-Deaf husbands!-oh, knew ye the blessings of rest, Ye ne'er would be so anxious to hear! I, alas! have discover'd my folly too late-Take warning by me while you can-When you hear a fine voice-oh! remember my fate! I'm a wretched-unfortunate man! Oh! beware, young men, of a musical wife, For Eliza's fine voice is the plague of my life!