Schneider's Little Boy - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
SCHNEIDER'S LITTLE BOY. Recited by George S. Knight. 
'Tis nice to have a leetle son Who, vhen your day of toil is done, Who'll climb und kiss yust for fun. Now I own such a leetle son-Und dey call him Schneider's boy. 
Uf some von pours ink on granny's gray hair, Und puts a pin on grandpa's chair, Und makes de poor old fellow shwear Und jump ub six feet in de air-Although he may not have been dere-Dey say it vas Schneider's boy. 
Uf some von cuts de tail off de cat, Or puts a brick in his fader's hat, Und vhen it falls it knocks de old man flat; Und breaks de clock mit a baseball bat, Und vhen I lay in bed pull out de slat-Dey say it vas Schneider's boy. 
Uf vhen his sister puts on her sealskin sack, He'll jump off a chair upon her back Und give her ruby lips a shmack; Und for it gets a terrible crack Dot makes him shout out "Paddy Whack!" Und he goes out und knocks a horse car off de track; I shpank him vhere his pants are slack-Den I know it is Schneider's boy.