You Can't Do It, You Know - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
You Can't Do It, You Know. 
I've heard people say that the world they'd surprise, But they can't do it, you know; With ships like balloon, they would soar to the skies, But they can't do it, you know; While some other fellows who haven't a cent, Are on a most wonderful patent intent, And perpetual motion they'd like to invent, But they can't do it, you know. 
Chorus. They can't do it, you know, They can't do it, you know, They'll never make a dime, They only waste their time, For they can't do it, you know. 
Some fellows are partial to cutting a swell, But they can't do it, you know; Each one is intending to wed a rich belle, But they can't do it, you know. Some fellows are trying some method to seek. To wear handsome raiment and jewels unique, And to pay for the same on ten dollars a week, But they can't do it, you know.-Chorus. 
The Britons are trying our powers to doubt. But they can't do it, you know; They tried very hard to knock Sullivan out, But they can't do it, you know. And when the Genesta came our yacht to whip, The Puritan saucily gave her the slip; There is many a slip twixt the cup and the ship, But they can't do it, you know.-Chorus. 
My landlady's bill I endeavour to pay, But I can't do it, you know; I try to eat boarding-house steak every day, But I can't do it, you know. Her coffee so muddy, her doughnuts so dry. Her back numbered cakes and her celluloid pie, To enjoy them and eat them how vainly I try, But I can't do it, you know.-Chorus. 
I'd fain live at peace with my mother-in-law, But I can't do it, you know; I try to induce her to silence her Jane, But she won't do it, you know. Some ballet girls try to look young I'm aware, Some plumbers endeavour to charge what is fair. And some lawyers try hard to be honest and square, But they can't do it, you know.-Chorus. 
They say they will show us a dude that has brains, But they can't do it, you know; That Vanderbilt's charity wastes all his gains, But they can't do it, you know. Policemen are never seen asleep on the beat. That they'll sweep banana peels off the street, That they'll show us a St. Louis girl with small feet, But they can't do it, you know.-Chorus.