If I Only Were A Pretty Little Fly - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
If I Only Were a Pretty Little Fly. Copyright, 1882, by Jas. F. Hey & Co. Written and sung by Gus Williams. 
While sitting at my ease enjoying much the breeze, At my window the other afternoon, A pretty little fly I saw came darting by, He buzzed as he flew into the room; He alighted here and there, devoid of ev'ry care, As round about he went with utmost speed; And with beautiful repose he settled on my nose, Which I thought was impudence, indeed. So between you and me, when I his tricks did see, A thought struck me quickly by the bye; To what places I could go, And what strange things I would know, If I only were a pretty little fly. 
I'd go to Coney Isle in most fashionable style, And the boats could ne'er sink me in the sea; If trav'ling by the train, I could go from here to Spain, . . No accident would ever trouble me. I'd go among the boys and share in all their joys. And at the "Brighton "I would dine each day; Through Central Park I'd ride, with Jennie by my side, And listen to whatever she might say. I'd know the winning horse, and bet on him, of course, And for a drink I never would be dry; Tho' I couldn't dance or sing, I'd do most ev'rything, If I only were a pretty little fly. 
In the politician's way I'd wander ev'ry day, And know just how they run that great machine, To each alderman I'd say; They ought to raise your pay, 'Tis the hardest working office ever seen. In bob-tall cars I'd ride, no fare I would provide, 'Till they came And took the money in their hand; I'd do just as I please, and the girls how I would tease, While strolling through the moonlight on the sand. I'd wake up ev'ry day, with a head so clear and gay, To play me for an "angel" none would try; With a smile for ev'ry one, all trouble I would shun, If I only were a pretty little fly.