Oh, No, Certainly Not - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
OH, NO, CERTAINLY NOT! Copyright, 1880, by Willis Woodward & Co. 
If I ask a few questions you won't think me rude? Oh, no, certainly not! "Will the "mower "have such a long run as the "dude?" Oh, no, certainly not! The bridge grip invented by one Colonel Paine, Do you think it will ever survive the great strain? If not, do you think he will try it again? Oh, no, certainly not! 
Do the democrats want civil service reform? Oh, no, certainly not! Is there no way of getting from under the storm? Oh, no, certainly not! But the President says he will uphold the law, Is there no way of finding the least little flaw, That will put the boys in for four years or more? Oh, no, certainly not! 
Do the hands on gas meters ever point to a lie? Oh, no, certainly not! When "Ingersoll "dies will he soar to the sky? Oh, no, certainly not! I sent with a letter of importance to-day A messenger boy, told him not to delay; Do you think he will stop And with other boys play? Oh, no, certainly not! 
Will Ferdinand Ward his sentence serve out? Oh. no, certainly not! While the tights going on are policemen about? Oh, no, certainly not! The New York Base Ball Club commence anew, Each season to "knock, out "opponents 'tis true; Some day will they carry the pennant too? Oh, no, certainly not! 
These rackets called "stags "are not bad in their way, Oh, no, certainly not! Now I often go out, but I never get gay, Oh, no, certainly not! When you get home at night after painting things red, With a furnace of snakes playing tag in vour head, Is the bath tub too cold when mistaken for bed? Oh, no, certainly not! 
Euchre's not bad when progressive, you know, Oh, no, certainly not! It sometimes progresses 'till rooster birds crow, Not bad, certainly not! There's some talk of making poker the same-That is progressive-to sweeten the game; Is not it progressive enough in its shame? Jack pot! certainly not! 
Will "Patti " return to our land very soon? Oh, no, certainly not! And wheedle our cash to a popular tune? Oh, no, certainly not! Or is it a fact as I hear people say. All high priced "Italians " must now stay away, That American opera now has the day? Oh, no, certainly not! 
Encore. Verse. 
You are asking too much for the money you pay, Oh, no, certainly not! Don't call me again after this one I pray, Oh, no, certainly not! Now about "ballet girls " in this wonderful age, Do you think that if they should all leave the stage, The " bald-headed "seats would be hard to engage? Oh, no, certainly not!