Absent-minded Man - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
ABSENT-MINDED MAN. 
I'll sing of an absent-minded man, I'll make you laugh, that's if I can, Forgetful as a Jersey clam, This absent-minded rooster. Forgot everything he ever knew, Forgot everything he tried to do; Forgot he was Dutch, said he was a Jaw, This absent-minded rooster. Forgot his hat, forgot his shoes, Forgot his clothes, forgot his booze, Forgot his sisters and cousins, and aunts, Went out for a walk and forgot his pants; Forgot to eat, forgot to sleep, Woke up one day and forgot his feet, Forgot his watch, his silk umbrella, Forgot it was dark, he fell in the cellar. Forgot his false teeth, they fell in a cup And was carried away by a brindle pup, Forgot how long he'd been alive, He went to get married and forgot his wife; Forgot to name his youngest son, He went out hunting and forgot his gun, He fought Jem Mace and the half breed, He got hit in the nose and forgot to bleed. He Forgot the stove, forgot the fire, He forgot the truth, the notorious liar, He took a bad cold, forgot to cough, Jumped on the cars and forgot to get off; He ran through the kitchen with a terrible rush, And fell in a boiling pot of mush, He jumped in the sewer and never was found The water was deep, he forgot to drown. He shot himself dead with a custard pie, Swallowed his clothes and forgot to die; And some other night I'll tell you more About this absent-minded rooster.