The Dutchman's Slate - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
THE DUTCHMAN'S SLATE. Tune- "Enoch Arden." 
Kind friends, you vas listen, I told you one story Vhat happened to me here one day; I keep of dis city a lager bier saloon, And I think of dat business vill pay. But my lager run out, and my Switzer-kase, too, And I found out vhen it has been too late; If you vaut to make money in dis kind of pusiness, By Tam! you must not keep a slate. 
My friend, Gasper Huntz, he called on me one day And asked me for ein glass of bier; He drink dat and said: It vas bully, anudder! And den rubs his belly-right here. He called for more lager, and Switzer-kase, too, And den he said: Dat vas first-rate! Vhen I ask him for pay, he do so-mit his eye And told me: Put dat on do slate! 
Now I don't like dat pusiness, and so I vas told him One day vhen he come mit my store. And dere I saw Gasper a drinking mine lager, And huggin' my wife mit de door. I take him shust so, mit de slack of his breechea, And pitch him right out on his head; I take down dat slate, and I break up dat pusiness, And den, potz tausand! I vas mad.