Larry's On The Force - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
LARRY'S ON THE FORCE. By Irwin Russell. 
Well, Katie, and is this yersilf? And where was you this whoile? And ain't ye dhrissed! You are the wan to illusthrate the stoile! But never moind thim matthers now-there's toime enough for thim; And Larry-that's me b'y-I want to shpake to you av him. 
Sure, Larry bates thim all for luck!-'tis he will make his way, And be the proide and honnur to the sod beyant the say; We'll soon be able-whist! I do be singin' till I'm hoorse, For iver since a month or more, my Larry's on the foorce! 
There's not a proivate gintleman that boords in all the row, Who houlds himself loike Larry does, or makes as foine a show; Thim eyes av his, the way they shoiue, his coat and butthons, too-He bates thim kerrige dhroivers that be on the avenue! 
He shtips that proud and shtatcly-like you'd thinkhe owned the town And hould his shtick convaient to be tappin' some wan dow a-Aich blissed day, I watch to see him comin' up the shtrate, For, by the greatest bit av luck, our house is on his bate. 
The little b'ys is feared av him, for Larry's moighty shtrict, And many's the litthle blagyard he's arristed, I expict; The beggyars gets acrass the shtrate-you ought to see thim fly-And organ-groindhers scatthers whin they see him comin' by. 
I know that Larry's bound to roise; he'll get a sergeant's post, And afther that a captincy widhin a year at most; And av he goes in politics he has the head to throiveI'll be an aldrwoman, Kate, afore I'm thirty-foive! 
What's that again? Y'are jokin' surety,-Katie! is it thrue? Last noight, you say, he-married? and Aileen O'Donahue? O Larry! c'u'd ye have the hairt-but let the spalpeen be; Av he demanes himsilf to her, he's nothing more to me. 
The ugly schamp! I always said, just as I'm tellin' you, ' That Larry was the biggist fool av all I iver knew; And many a toime I've tould mesilf-you see it now, av coorseHe'd niver come to army good av he got on the foorce!