Talmage's Night Side Of Life In New York - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
TALMAGE'S "NIGHT SIDE OF LIFE IN NEW YORK" Written and sung by Sam Devere. 
When the Brooklyn folks were all in bed, One night old Parson Talmage said, "I want to see what does entice Young men to the holes of sin and vice." Said he, "To-night I 11 take them in, These gilded holes of vice and sin" -As he took his hat from off the shelf To see how the old thing worked himself. 
He put on his ulster coat and gums. For a jamboree in the New York slums, Said he, "I'll shake this Brooklyn set And go on a racket to-night, you bet." Said he, "Oh, what a glorious chance To see the great big elephant dance " -And his face beamed up with a heavenly light As he thought of the fun he'd have that night. 
At the Buckingham he first peeped in, Which made the good old parson grin; Said he, "Oh, ho, I understand What makes young men all do the grand." In the mazy waltz he took a whirl With his arms around a sweet young girl, To satisfy him in his search Of things that he wanted to tell his church. 
To the Cremorne then he took a trip. And here he let the old thing rip, He danced the can-can out of sight, And kicked up higher than Gilroy's kite. From each dear girl he stole a kiss, Then shouted, "Oh, what heavenly bliss! Oh, hallelujah! bless the Lamb! I feel as happy as a great big clam." He whispered something strange and queer To a big fat blonde in her offside ear; She said, "You bet; well, I don't mind," And the parson meekly followed behind. When he got to the door he heard them shout, That's Parson Talmage just went out, Then he shook the gal with the auburn hair And scooted as hard as he could tear. 
He ran as he never ran before, Till he reached a boat for the Brooklyn shore; Then he tried to think just what he'd say To square himself with the church next day Then he cooked up a sermon nice and brown. On the "Night Side of Life in New York " town; His congregation came in a throng, And his salary was raised twelve thousand strong.