The Puzzled Dutchman - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
THE PUZZLED DUTCHMAN. By C. F. Adams. 
I'm a broken-hearted Deutscher, Vot's villed mit crief und sbarne; I dells you vot der drouble is-I doesn't know my name 
You dinks dis very funny, eh? Ven you der story bear, You vill not vonder den so mooch, It vas shtrange und queer. 
Mein moder had two little twins, Dey was me und mein broder; Ve looks so ferry mooch alike, No von knew vich from toder. 
Von ov der poys was "Yawcup," Und "Hans "der Oder's name; But den it makes no tifferent, Ve both got called der same. 
Veil! one ov us got tead-Yaw, Mynheer, dot ish so! But vedder Hans or Yawcup, Mein moder, she ton't know. 
Und so I am in d roubles, I gan't git droo mein bed, Vedder I'm Hans rot's lifing, Or Yawcup vot ish tead!