If The Man In The Moon Could Only Speak - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
IF THE MAN IN THE MOON COULD ONLY SPEAK. 
What funny things we'd hear about this land so queer. If the man that's In the moon could only speak: What funny things he'd say of things going on day by day. If the man that's in the moon could only speak." He'd tell us of a way the Rahway mystery to unravel; He'd tell us why at election time " we most have so much gabble, If the man that's In the moon could only speak. 
Refrain. If the man that's in the moon could only speak, The things he'd say would surely be a treat. Of the boodler and the juror, and "tin- straw bail procurer, If the man that's in the moon could only speak. 
He'd tell us what the monopolists think of the Knights of Labor, If the man that's in the moon could only speak; He'd tell as why Jay Gould don't buy all the Atlantic cables. If the man that's in the moon could only speak. He'd tell us what the prospects are of re-instating Father McGlynn, He'd tell as which is the safest bank to put our money in: He'd tell us who for President in the next campaign will win. If the man that's in the moon could only speak. 
Refrain. If the man that's in the moon could only speak. The things he'd say would surely be a treat: He'd tell us if our Grover will ever have a little rover, If the man that's in the moon could only speak.