Wedlock Is A Ticklish Thing - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
Wedlock Is A Ticklish Thing. 
Wedlock is a ticklish thing, Hey merrily ho, and ho merrily hey; And will joy or sorrow bring, Hey merrily ho, hey ho! Oh. how delightful pass their days away, Who, never spiteful, only toy And play. 
Spoken-He: Will you take a walk, my dear? She: With great pleasure, my love. He: Then pray, put on your clogs, for it is very damp. She: And do you put on your great-coat, for fear of catching cold. He: Oh, thank you, my darling, for your tender care. Oh! 
Wedlock's joys are soft and sweet, Hey merrily ho, and ho merrily hey; When fond hearts in union meet, Hey merrily ho, hey ho. 
Let us only change the scene, Ho terrible hey. and hey terrible ho; Take a peep behind the screen, Ho, terrible ho, hey ho; What she proposes, be it good or bad, He still opposes till he drives her mad. 
Spoken-In imitation of man and wife. She: Do you dine at home to-day, sir? He: Can't tell. She: What shall I order for dinner? He: What you like. She: Should you like chicken boiled or roasted? He: Neither, I hate chicken. She: Then what will you have? He: Nothing. She: Oh. very well, sir. He: Very well, ma'm.-Thus, 
Wedlock is a terrible state. Ho terrible hey, and hey terrible ho! When cold hearts are joined by hate, Ho, terrible ho, hey ho!