Close To It - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
CLOSE TO IT. Copyright, 1889. by Harding Brothers. 
A man should always be precise In what he says thro' life, And I am most precise In all I say to my dear wife; Twas late last night when I roll'd in To my domestic bunk"You're drunk, " my wife said, I replied, "My dear, I am not drunk." 
Chorus. But quite close to it, so close to it, Tho'I assured my loving wife I'd not been drunk in all my life; Close to it, quite close to it, Well, not exactly loaded, But close to it. 
We have a pretty servant girl, And so has Jones next door; Well, I just treat our servant, Jane, Politely, nothing more. My wife declares I took the girl To Barnum's show one night; I said, "My love, by all the stars, I swear you are not right." 
Chorus. But quite close to it, so close to it, I did not take our girl, I'm sure, You see I took the girl next door; Close to it, quite close to it. My wife, of course, was wrong, Vet quite close to it. 
I went to the Hoffman House To get a good cigar; And while no one was looking, I strolled behind the bar. I run my hand into a box, My pockets I did fill; But why did Stokes kick up a row? I was not at the till. Chorus. But quite close to it, so close to it, The policeman gave me such a whack, 'Twas not exactly on the back-Close to it, quite close to it, The window it was closed And I went through it. 
I also am a modest man, And when at the seaside, I hate to see men stare while girls Arc bathing in the tide. I'm not at all a hypocrite. But practice what I preach, So, while the girls are bathing, I'm never on the beach. 
Chorus. But quite close to it, so close to it, 'Tis fun to see an old maid Approach the rope and try to wade Close to it, quite close to it, 
Not close enough to please her, But close to it.