Near It - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
NEAR IT. Copyright, 1888, by Oliver Ditson & Co. 
A man should always be precise In what he says thro' life. And I am most precise In all I say to my dear wife; Twas late last night when I roll'd in To my domestic bunk"You're drunk, "my wife said, I replied "My dear, I am not drunk," 
Chorus. But I was near it, precious near it, Tho' I assured my loving wife I' not been drunk in all my life; But near it, jolly near it, Not drunk enough to tell the truth, But near it. 
I also am a modest man, And at the seaside I hate to see men stare while girls Are bathing in the tide. Oh, I am not a hypocrite, I practice what I preach. And whilst the girls are in bathing I am never on the beach. 
Chorus. But I am near it, nice and near it, I seek a still secluded place, And thro' my glasses view each face; Quite near it, oh, so near it, Not near enough to give offence, But near it. 
I went into a "sample room" To get a glass of stout, But there was no one in the bar, And no one near about. The landlord and his man came down, And shouted with a will; But why did they make such a noise? I was not at the till. 
Chorus. But I was near it, awful near it, The landlord gave me such a whack-Well, not exactly on the back, But near it, very near it, They called a savage dog, And left me near it! 
We have a pretty servant maid, And so has Jones next door; Now though I treat our servant, Jane, Politely-nothing more, My wife declares I took the girl To Buff To Bill's last night; I said, "My dear, by all that's good, I swear you are not right." 
Chorus. But she is near it, frightful near it, I did not take our girl, I'm sure, You see I took the girl next door; 
How near it, awful near it. My wife, of course, was wrong, But she was near it. 
Without a verse called "topical." Of course, a song won't do; And so, of names political, I'll mention one or two. Friend Grnver Cleveland's "second term" Has vanished into air; And many others didn't get The Presidential chair. 
Chorus. But they were near it, very near it, Yet everything went wrong, somehow; They don't stand in the White House now, But near it, jolly near it, Whene'er they have an axe to grind, They're near it.