The Chestnut Broke My Heart - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
The Chestnut Broke My Heart. By Willie Wildwave. Tune- "The Song that Reached my Heart." 
I sat last night amid a throng of actors, oh, so grand, And listened to the dizzy jokes they told in manner bland; I listened to the chestnuts fall from each one in his way, For some were rather ancient and did service many a day. I heard again the plumber joke, also about the goat, About the ancient Thomas cat, of his melodious throat; But when they told the gag-that made the tear-drops start, They told the joke of mother-in-law, the chestnut broke my heart. 
Chorus. Home, home, sweet, sweet home, What is home without a mother-in-law? The chestnut broke my heart. I think I can never forget, the jokes were so hoary with age, I think of the actors, I think or the gags, and my heart is filled I read me all the almanacs for forty years or more [with rage; And found the jokes told o'er again, time but added to the score. Again I heard that rank cashiers to Canada had flown, That Irishmen policemen were ere they left their native zone; But when they told that ancient friend, I thought it very tart, They told the joke of mother-in-law, the chestnut broke my heart.