Ask A Policeman - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
ASK A POLICEMAN. Copyright, 1889, by Harding Bros. Composed by A. E. Durandeau. Sung by Joe. O'Connor. 
The police force is a noble band, that safely guard our streets. Their valor is unquestion'd, and they're monarchs on their "beats;" If anything you wish to know, they'll tell you with a grin, In fact, each one of them is a complete "inquire within." 
Chorus. If you want to know the time, ask a policeman. The proper city time, ask a policeman, Every member of the force has a watch and chain, of course, How he got it, from what source? ask a policeman. 
And if you stay out late at night and visit regions queer. Thanks to those noble guardians, of danger you've no fear; If beer you want, and stores are closed, go to the man in blue. He'll show you where the side door is, and tell you what to do. 
Chorus. If you want to get a drink, ask a policeman, He'll manage it, I think, will a policeman, He'll find out the secret way, where you can, both night and day, Get a cocktail right away, can a policeman. 
And if your hired girl suddenly should leave her cozy place, Don't publish an advertisement, her whereabouts to trace; No matter what the neighbors say, if you wish her to trace. Go ask the fellow dressed in blue, he'll soon find out the place. 
Chorus. If you don't know where she's gone, ask a policeman, Or where from you she's run. ask a policeman. He may say some dude did try to make her from home fly. You'll know better bye and bye from that policeman. 
And if you're getting very stout, wish to be trim and nice, No need a doctor to call in, you just take my advice; Go in for running all you can, both morning, noon and night. And if you want a pattern, watch a policeman in a fight, 
Chorus. If you want to learn to run, ask a policeman, When a battle has begun, watch a policeman, Round the corner he will go, swift as arrow from a bow. He don't care to meet the foe, does a policeman. 
Or if you're called away from home, and leave your wife behind. You think, oh, would that I a friend to guard the house could find; And keep my love in safety, but let all your troubles cease, You'll find the wished for safeguard in our honest, good police. 
Chorus. '. If your wife requires a friend, ask a policeman, Who to her wants will attend, ask a policeman, Or if manliness you'd trace, on a guileless honest face, To take care of wife and place, get a policeman.