Married Life - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
MARRIED LIFE. Copyright, 1880, by Harding Brothers. Words and Music by Fred Martin. 
Matrimony's like a sausage, Full of awful mystery, When you meet a married couple Don't believe in all you see; Married life's like a grand piano, Very often out of tune, This is how married folks Often spend their honey-moon. 
Chorus. First week, second week, kissing and canoodling, Third week, fourth week, just .about the same; Fifth week, sixth week, if you are a visitor, Ten to one you'll catch them at the same old game. Twelve months after darling gets a licking, Honey-moon's all over and she wants a little sport; Two years after this is how it finishes, Separation papers from the nearest court. 
Once it was "you ducky, darling," Now it's nothing but "you brute," Once her welcomes were all smiles, Now it's nothing but her boot Something heavy she will fire, Stretching poor me on my back; Darling's eyes were once sky blue, Now they are a handsome black.-Chorus. 
She had nothing when we married I think I'd just about the same, Nothing did I ever give her, Unless it was my respective name She's gone to get a separation, Hope she gets it, I am sure, She can take the precious infant, I'll be single forever more.-Chorus.