No 4, Second Floor - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
No. 4, SECOND FLOOR Copyright, 1889, by M. Witmark & Sons. By Joseph Flynn. 
Now it happened one Summer, a beautiful Miss I met by the briny sea shore; And in love I soon fell, for the truth I will tell, Yen this charmer I really adore. We kissed and we spooned all the long afternoon, Oh, I'll ne'er forget the day; And she managed to whisper these words in my ear, Ere her mamma did take her away: 
Chorus. By-by, she did sigh, when the moon's in the sky I will meet you, my darling, once more; At nine, by the clock, just come in and don't knock, To the house, number four, second floor. 
To the house then I went, and the signal I sent; When, by jingo, I turned quickly pale For a flower pot down from the roof broke my crown, And a bull dog he grabbed my coat-tail. Then I made a quick dash, and I jumped right kersplash In a barr'l full up of rain, When the people came down, why, they found me near drowned, And my presence they wanted explained. 
Chorus. By-by, I did cry, for the fence I did fly. But the bull "dog grabbed me once more; At nine, by the clock, I was caught by a cop At the house, number four, second floor. 
Well, my feelings that moment I cannot describe. My looks I am sure were absurd; The policeman, so bold, of my collar grabbed hold, Dragged me off without saying a word. In the front of a judge I was placed the next morn, And bugl'ry was the crime; And as I was led down to a cell underground, Why, the turnkey remarked with a smile: 
Chorus. By-by, he did cry, two years will roll by. And your darling shall see you no more; At nine, by the clock, just go in and don't knock, To the cell, number four, second floor. 
To the prison I went, but my heart was content, For my darling she swore she'd be true; In a long loving note, why, those words she had wrote, I will never wed any but you. You can judge my dismay, when one sunny day To her house quite free I walked; On a coppers big knee she sat easy and free, When I kicked I was licked like a gawk. 
Chorus. By-by, she did cry, you're the greenest old guy That I ever did meet with before; At nine, by the clock, I was wed to this cop, At the house, number four, second floor.