Rootity-toot, She Plays The Flute - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
Rootity-Toot, She Plays The Flute. Published by T. B. Harms & Co. Words and Music by Arthur West. 
You all know what a sister is to mend your socks and darn 'em, Well, I have got a sister, and she ought to be with Barnum; She was so nice and steady till she started learning music. And now to hear her practice it would make both you and I sick. From morning until evening at her instrument she's sitting. And consequently all the neighbors 'round about are flitting; We've lost two young men lodgers who departed without paying, And all because they couldn't stand my sister Susan's playing. 
Refrain. For rootity-toot, she plays the flute, in a very charming manner, Pinkity-pong, she runs along the keys of the grand piano; Rumpity-pum, she bangs the drum, or else she beats the gong, Since sister Susan learnt to play we've all gone wrong. 
She sends her compositions to the Reverend Stuart Headlam, Since she's been a composer all the house is like a Bedlam; And when the family circle gathers 'round the dinner table, She beats tattoo with knife and fork as well as she is able. She started on the banjo, too, and all day long she's playing. Our tom-cat's given notice that he couldn't think of staying; He went, to pa and told him, tho' he knew that it would grieve as, He wouldn't stand it longer, so he'd pay his bill and leave us.-Refrain. 
I wish she would recover, tho' the chance I fear remote is, She's married a professor, one whose furry overcoat is The admiration of the kids as he walks down the alley, He's something like a hearth-rug and a lady in the ballet. He married her last Tuesday, and thank heaven she's departed, Tho' now I do believe that he is nearly broken-hearted; I met him but this morning, on his mind there's something preying, I asked him what's the matter and he answered me by saying:-Refrain.