Oh Squeeze Me, Joe - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
OH! SQUEEZE ME, JOE. Written and Composed by John Read. 
In Lincolnshire there once did dwell a charming little widow, Whom I used to meet and sometimes treat to a walk across the meadow; I knew that she was fond of me, tho' she never told me so -But when I pressed her to my breast, she said: "Oh: squeeze me, Joe." 
Chorus. "Oh! squeeze me, Joe-oh! squeeze me, Joe; It makes me feel so jolly, you know; Oh! squeeze me, Joe-oh, squeeze me, Joe, And if you love me, tell me so." 
She kept a pretty little farm, and horses she had three; So I paid, "My dear, there'll be no harm to take a ride with me." She did, and slipped from off the horse, but I caught her, you must know, Then placed my arm around her waist, When she cried: "Don't squeeze me, Joe." Oh! squeeze me, Joe-oh! squeeze me, Joe, etc. 
I popped the question there and then, I did upon my life, And asked this charming widow would she really be my wife? She gave a sigh, then said: "Oh, my! I really can't say 'No'; I'll be your wile and joy through life if you'll only squeeze me, Joe." Oh! squeeze me, Joe-oh! squeeze me, Joe, etc. 
I married then the widow and am happy as can be: For the little farm und all its charms, of course, belongs to me; And When I say I'm going away to town for a day or so, I can't do lees than give her a kiss, then she'll say: "Oh! squeeze me, Joe." Oh! squeeze me, Joe-oh! squeeze me, Joe, etc.