The Biscuits Miss Flannigan Made - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
The Biscuits Miss Flannigan Made. Copyright, 1890, by Wm. H. McGarry. Words and Music by C. Frank Horn. 
One day as I laid on my satin divan, Mister Fogarty called upon me, Sayin', "Mister Gilhooly, I'm wantin' a man To go with me to Flannigan's tea"; We wint, an' Miss Daly met us at the door, Where the table for tea had been laid; Oh, Gilhooly, just plaize an' try some of these. They are biscuits Miss Flannigan made. 
Refrain. Oh, my! say what you will, But the biscuits were snowy and flaky, Whin I think of them still It makes me feel trembly and shaky; Oh, my! made up to kill. Of my life I am sadly afraid. Since I swallow'd such terrible nuggets of lead As the biscuits Miss Flannigan made. 
"Just cut one in two," says Maloney to me, And slash on the butter for life; I tried just as faithful as ever could be, Till the foire flew off of my knife; Then Galligan broke off a couple of teeth, An' tould me that he was afraid That we wanted a wedge and an ax, or a sledge, For the biscuits Miss Flannigan made.-Refrain. 
I handed them up to a healthy young chap, Whose name was John Peter McGraw; He shut down his teeth with a vigorous snap, An' the splinters flew off of his jaw. While I, to relieve him, done all in my power, I was tould by young Hector McDade That Helena O'Brien had injured her spine With the biscuits Miss Flannigan made.-Refrain. 
I took a few biscuits and started for home, I scarcely knew whither nor how, And I knocked a big hole in the Custom-house dome, And murdered McGittigan's cow. When I saw the justice and tould my sad tale, He said, though this mischief you made, I think at the best we will have to arrest The biscuits Miss Flannigan made.-Refrain. 
I was fearfully sick, an' my heart was quite sore, When the news kem around the next day That a contractor's cart was at Flannigan's door An' was takin' the biscuits away. They may send them to Germany, Russia or France, Where there's rumors of war it is said, But I'll bet you the treats they're pavin' the streets With the biscuits Miss Flannigan made.-Refrain.