Paddy Stole The Rope - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
PADDY STOLE THE ROPE. Written and Sung by Pat Feeney. 
There were once two Irish laboring men, to America they came over, And they tramped about, in search of work, from New York to Dover; Said Paddy to Mick: "I'm tired of this; we're both left in the lurch, And if we don't get work, bedad! I'll go and rob a church! " " What! rob a church! "said Mick to Paddy, "how could you be so vile? Sure something bad will happen you when in the sacred aisle; But if you do, I'll go with you! we'll get safe out, I hope." So listen, and I'll tell you true, how Paddy stole the rope: 
They tramped about through mud and mire, and the place they wanted finding, They got inside a country church, which nobody was minding; They scraped together all they could, and then prepared to slope; When Paddy said: "Hold on, now, Mike; what shall we do for roper We've got no bag to hold the swag, and before we go outside. With something stout and strong, my lad, the bundle must be tied!" Just then he spied the church bell-rope, and, swift as an antelope. He scrambled up on the belfry high to go and steal the rope. 
When Paddy reached the belfry-ropes-"Be jabers!" said he, "Stop! To get a piece that's long enough I must climb to the top!" So, like a sailor, up he went, and when near the end, said he: "I think the piece that's underneath quite long enough will be." So, holding by one arm and leg, he pulled his clasp-knife out, And right above his head and hand he cut the rope so stout; He quite forgot it held him up. By the powers of Doctor Pope! Down to the bottom of the church fell Paddy and the rope. 
Says Mick to Paddy: "Come out of that!" as he on the floor lay groaning, "Is that the way to steal a rope? no wonder now ye're moaning, I'll show yez how to cut a rope, there, just lend me your knife." "Yerra, Mick, be careful! "cried out Paddy, "or else you'll lose your life!" Mick bounded up the other rope, and like an artful thief, Instead of cutting it up above he cut it underneath; The piece fell down-and he was left to hang up there and mope"Bad cess unto the day," said he, "when we came stealing rope." 
There was Paddy groaning on the floor, while Mick hung up on high; "Come down," says Paddy." I can't, "says Mick," for if I drop I'll die." Their noise soon brought the preacher 'round, the sexton and police, But though they set poor Mickey free, the pair got no release; They took them to the station, where their conduct they now rue, For if they had no work before, they've plenty now to do; And for their ingenuity they have a larger scope Than when they broke into the church and tried to steal the rope.