She Trotted Me Off To Church - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
She Trotted Me Off to Church. Sung by Wm. Ashton. 
I dare say you are wondering why I've dressed in this queer way; Well, you must know, I in these clothes got wed this very day. I know I look quite happy, but I'm miserable and ill; The fact is this, the marriage took place against my will. 
Spoken-I didn't know I was to be married, I didn't want to be married, but she said that I looked unhappy. I said I'd just lost my father. She said, why, it's but a short time since you lost your mother. What a careless fellow you are; come with me, the parson's waiting; and before I could reply -
Chorus. She put me under my father's hat, and his gloves she made me wear; She stuck in my hat a big sunflower, and told me I looked all there. And when she got me quite complete, oh, wicked Jemima Burch, She said no more, but collared my arm and trotted me off to church. 
I found she'd everything prepared, apartments and the rest; But what was-I must say-the worst, she went in for the best. To have the whole concern complete, she was, I'm bound to say, Considerate and thoughtful, for all I'd to do was pay. Spoken-She found everything. I found the money. When dinner time arrived she said, don't waste time having dinner. Have a shrimp with your tea. Oh, why did I marry? She did it, for-Chorus. 
I've swindled been, but never mind, I'll have no more of she; I've got some money in my clothes, I'm off upon the spree. As soon as I the chance can get, I'll change my dress and start For Pimlico or South Bank or some such happy part. Spoken-She's so ugly. She can't laugh on Sunday without breaking the Sabbath. We had our fortunes told once. The gipsy asked me if Jemima cared for me. I said she always had me in her eye. She said "yes." I see she's got a large stye there. When she finds herself single she'll wish she wasn't married. She'll find herself alone in the crowd, with her hopes blasted forever.-Chorus.