Whatever I Tell You It Goes - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
Whatever I Tell You It Goes. Copyright, 1891, by Henry J. Wehman. Written, Composed and Sung by Jas. McAvoy. 
It is seldom I speak, and whenever I do You can but your sweet life that it goes; And whenever I sing you will hear something new-Now mark what I tell you it goes. What little there is of this song it is right; If I do shock your feeling, 'twill he very light, But I'll pledge you my word I won't shock you to-night, And whatever I tell you it goes. 
Chorus. You can make up your mind that it goes. You can make up your mind that it goes; You will quickly admit that the song is a hit, And you'll find what I tell you it goes. 
A tout on the track he will give you a tip. And he says what I tell you it goes; He'll watch if you win and he won't let you slip, Just remember what I tell you goes. He knows all the winners from Soda to Hock; He'll swear he got tips from McLaughlin, the jock; You're a sucker if in him you take any stock-You can bet your good coin that it goes. 
Chorus. Just wait till they start and it goes, He'll be left at the post, and that goes; If you lose and you're out, you won't see Mr. Tout; I'm calling the turns, and it goes. 
You must watch your new silk umbrella in church; You'll think it is safe, but it goes; They'll ring in an old one that's not worth half us much-Remember what I tell you goes.
 They're sorry, but never a new one they'll get; No new umbrella you haven't got yet; Some pious old deacon has nailed it, you betThey've got two of mine and it goes. 
Chorus. It might he a mistake and it goes; Now maybe I am wrong, but it goes; I'll not go again any Sunday it rains. If it snows or it blows, and that goes. 
Old, bald-headed men in the front seats they'll seat-There are lots here to-night, and it goes; If they hadn't no railing there, where would they getThey'd be climbing up here, and that goes. They can sit where they please for to witness the sights; I envy no man of his privilege or rights; But should they see a lady appearing in tights, They get plum oft their noodle-that goes. 
Chorus. You can see for yourself, and that goes; It's a true and old saying, it goes. They don't care a hair, for there's no hair up there, But he wants a front chair-that goes. 
If you have any trouble or family affairs, Right into the Journal it goes; They'll fix all troubles with ideas of their's
If they say it's divorce, well it goes. It's pretty Miss So and So sues for divorce-They say that she's pretty-toe jolly, of course. If she's homely as sin and built like a truck-horse, She's pretty, they say, and it goes. 
Chorus. If reporters they say so- it goes; If he's a reporter, be knows If he'd cut out the pretty and print the plain truth And say old pudding-faces-that goes.