Never In A Thousand Years - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
NEVER IN A THOUSAND YEARS. Copyright. 1891, by Will Rossiter. Words by John A. Fraser, Jr. Music by Geo. Schleiffarth. 
There's a little gag that's common, now you hear it on the street. Never in a thousand years; And it's certain to be used by every second man you meet, Never in a thousand years. If, perchance, you're talking politics and say, "Jim Blaine will be The Republican Convention's man, the party nominee," Some fool friend of Ben Harrison will yell in fiendish glee, Never in a thousand years, never in a thousand years. 
Do you think to Willie Tascott they will ever find a clue? Never in a thousand years; Will the telephonic fairy ever "call you when they're through?" Never in a thousand years. Do you think if Grover Cleveland gets the Democratic bun. It will be through Dave Hill's influence the battle will be won? And will he be indorsed by Charles A. Dana and The Sun? Never in a thousand years, never in a thousand years. 
Do you think our "boodle" bankers, home, from Canada will come? Never in a thousand years; And will school-girls, at the matinee, refrain from chewing gum? Never in a thousand years. Do you think Alliance farmers will sub-treasury their wheat? And will Wall Street hoist "free coinage "as the motto of the street? And will Jerry Simpson evermore wear socks upon his feel? Never in a thousand years, never in a thousand years. 
Will a lady in a street-car ever thank you for a seat? Never in a thousand years; Will a copper ever "pull "a night saloon upon his beat? Never in a thousand years. And will races some day yet be run entirely on the square? Will Chicago gambling all be stopped before they hold the Fair? Will we get a city council with no" boodle "in the air? Never in a thousand years, never in a thousand years. 
Will Pete Jackson, as a slugger, John L. Sullivan supplant? Never in a thousand years; Do you think New York will ever build a monument to Grant? Never in a thousand years. Now I've finished all my verses and my song is nearly done. But I've one more little question that I'll ask you just for fun, Will a Prohibition President be sent to Washington? Never in a thousand years, never in a thousand years.