A Pity To Waste It - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
A PITY TO WASTE IT. Written and Composed by Felix McGlennon. 
To rest aright I went one day into a restaurant. Said I, "I'd like a cup of tea-I want it nice and strong; I'd also like a new laid egg." They brought it in a jiffy. But when I sampled that 'ere egg, oh, crikey! it was sniffy. 
Chorus. 'Twas a pity to waste it, a pity to waste it; I thought that some one else ought to taste it; The waiter then I saw, and he got it on the jaw; So I didn't waste it, after all. 
I've got a little garden, and in it I often dig; I've dug up curiosities-some small, some rather big. When digging there one day, I found-this story may sound strong-But, straight, I found a pair of boots exactly two yards long. 
Chorus. 'Twas a pity to waste them, a pity to waste them, And so with some one else I have placed them. They now adorn the feel of the policeman on our beat, So I didn't waste them, after all. 
Now, I am fond of babies, as the most of fellows are, And if I could afford it, to them all I'd be a pa; But I have plenty of my own, so I did not thrill with joy, When on my doorstep yesterday I found a baby boy. 
Chorus. 'Twas a pity to waste it, a pity to waste it, And so with some one else I have placed it. I sent that babe this morn to the Marquis all for Lorne, So I didn't waste it, after all. 
Some people who admire me, and my talents recognize, Send me a present now and then, just for a sweet surprise. Some fellow wrote, "Dear sir, I heard you sing a song last night, I think you're worthy of a rise-here's a lump of dynamite." 
Chorus. 'Twas a pity to waste it, a pity to waste it; I thought some one else ought to taste it. I met a German band, blew them to their native land; So I didn't waste it, after all. 
I'm very, very fond of dogs-I had a black-and-tan, His fav'rite game was chasing cats, but after one he ran. That cat was nasty-tempered, and he settled poor old Guzzle, And all I've got to comfort me is my poor doggie's muzzle. 
Chorus. Twas a pity to waste it, a pity to waste it, I thought that some one else ought to taste it. My main-law I saw, and I clapped it on her jaw; So I didn't waste it, after all. 
It's singular the curious people that you often meet; It's singular the curious things you pick up in the street. I saw a parcel t'other day, the paper had come undone, I picked it up, and found it was a map of good, old London. 
Chorus. 'Twas a pity to waste it, a pity to waste it, And so with some else I have placed it. I sent it to our Queen; it's a place she's seldom seen; 
So I didn't waste it, after all.