I Picked It Up - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
I PICKED IT UP. Written and Composed by Charles Osborne. 
No doubt you've heard about Paul Pry, who pokes his nose in every pie; And thousands more have felt the taint-in fact, I've got the same complaint. It came out at the Lord Mayor's Show, where "Rhino" had been pitched below; My inattention seemed complete, when six-pence rolled down at my feet. 
Chorus. I picked it up, I picked it up-To do so, well, I must have been a clown; That "tanner "must have been" off "; It fairly burned the skin off-Jumping Moses! I put it down. 
I'm rather fond of chemicals, and when I went with two old pals To see the fireworks they display at the Palace down at Sydenham way. (Sym.) The shells went bang, the rockets whizz'd, the crackers crack'd, the fizgigs fizz'd, When close to me, amongst the throng, there dropp'd a squib some six feet long -
Chorus. I picked It up, I picked it up-To do so, well, I must have been a clown; For "wollop," and it goes off, And nearly blows my nose off"Ask your uncle," I put it down. 
Since youthful days you'll understand I've tried to lend a helping hand-That Is to say, I've done my best to help another when distressed. (Sym.) But my experience to teach, there are some things beyond your reach-For instance, late last night I found a second Tichborne on the ground-
Chorus. I picked him up, I picked him up-At least, I tried to do so, like a clown; I'd shifted him two paces, When "bang" went both my braces-Great Columbus! I put him down. 
Of human ills I think the worst Is when a single man is cursed With near relations who can boast of olive branches in a host. (Sym.) My married sister Jane's got two-I called last night to say, "How do?" She popped out for a "pint of four," and left the baby on the floor. 
Chorus. I picked him up, I picked him up-To do so, well, I must have been a clown; Whilst she'd gone round the houses, He spoiled my Sunday trousers-Hang the baby! I put him down.