The Horse-car Fiend - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
THE HORSE-CAR FIEND. Copyright, 1893, by Frank Harding.. Words and Music by Edward Barry. 
There are many curious characters you meet with in this life, Yes, you are bound to meet them every day; There's the fellow while his mother lives he'll never take a wife, And the fellow that eats peanuts at the play. There's the fellow that is bound to write a poem upon Spring, The fellow at the party wants to help you when you sing, There's the fellow that can tell you when the blizzard's going to come, Cut of all the cranks in this wide world, I'll now tell you of one: 
Chorus. Everybody knows him when he gets aboard a car; he growls at the conductor, who's made him run so far; Every day you'll find him, every day he's seen, Everybody knows him, he's the horse-car fiend. 
When first he gets aboard the car, he then looks all around. And if an inch of space is to be seen, Be calls in the conductor and he makes all hands move down, And he'll squeeze himself into a seat, the fiend. He'll wiggle And he'll waggle, and he'll elbow himself in; He jumps upon your corns, and he'll scrape you on the shin; He'd sit upon a bustle or a baby, I declare, From a little chamois pocket-book he then pulls out his fare-Chorus. 
He knocks the buttons off your coat a-rushing for the door, he jams his umbrella in your eye, He opens up the window, says he must have fresh air, And he'll freeze you 'till you're ready for to die. He blocks up the whole car by crossing his two feet; When he sees a lady enter he pretends he is asleep; He'd give you the pneumonia by opening the front door, And he'd stop the car an hour for a penny in the straw.-Chorus.