The World's Fair - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
THE WORLD'S FAIR. By Eddie O'Brien. Sung by Lew Hawkins. 
This world is full of wonders now, no matter where you go, They say that wonders never cease, and I believe it's so; The wonder of all wonders now, they say so everywhere, Is going to be Chicago, where, they have the great world's fair. Between all nations of this earth there'll be a great contest, They'll all produce great wonders, just to see who has the best; There's going to be glorious times, so every one be there: I'll tell you of the funny things you'll see while at the fair. 
Chorus. Mrs. Langtry on a Texas steer, a Dutchman that will not drink beer, A Chicago boodler that never took a bribe; A ladies1 contest chewing gum, a fortune for the biggest bum, Also a phrobismatic that never took a bribe. They're going to have a mother-in-law that never passed her son-in-law, Or walked upon his bosom till she dragged out all his hair; The elevated road, they say, will kill a Chinaman each day: So have your washing done, I pray, before the great world's fair. 
There'll be all kinds of wonders, yes, there'll be all kinds of fun; Queen Victoria will be singing "Johnny, get your gun." They're going to have some preachers there who never committed sins, I also hear there will appear a pair of orphans' twins. The Home Rule then it will be passed and hung upon the wall, A four-round fighter who will swear he cannot best them all; They're going to have Niagara Falls suspended in the air, Just to give us all a shower bath while visiting the fair. 
Chorus. A dude without a cigarette, a gambling man that will not bet, Also a pair of whiskers that the wind has not blown through; A policeman that is good and kind, a girl that will not change her mind. Going to have an oyster from the McKinley tariff stew, Speaker Reed will be there, too, with babe McKee play peek-a-boo; Nancy Hanks will trot a mile in a second, I declare: Jack the ripper will be there, chasing people with long hair; You'd better get your hair cut before you take in the fair.