Oh Those Lodgings - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
OH! THOSE LODGINGS! Copyright, 1893, by T. D. Harms & Co. Words and Music by Arthur West. 
I was reading in the Herald of a house beside the sea, Where they took in Summer boarders, that was good enough for me; So I packed up my valise, that afternoon I landed there, I'd a hundred dollar bill, and twenty-seven days to spare; The paper said, "It's near the cars, ten minutes from the town, And a porter at the station waits to run your luggage down." To read it you would think that you were going to Heaven sure, But I'll be a crazy man if ever I go any more. 
Chorus. Oh, those lodgings, those lodgings by the sea, Oh, those lodgings, that are very dear to me. It cost a dollar ev'ry time I gazed upon the foam; Next time I take my holidays I mean to stay at home. 
Now the porter, for his trouble, charged a dollar twenty-five, And they put me in a room where I was eaten up alive; With fairy wings, mosquitoes ev'ry evening to me came, The bedbug had no wings, but still he got there just the same. Instead of having sleep I had to do a song and dance, And I paid them forty dollars, that was four weeks in advance. I had fifty dollars left, with which I meant to have a time, But before the week was over it had dwindled down to nine. 
Chorus. Oh, those lodgings, those lodgings by the sea, Oh, those lodgings, that are very dear to me. I once was good and stout, but I'm reduced to skin and bone; Next time I take my holidays I mean to stay at home. 
We had ham and eggs for breakfast, and for dinner ham and eggs; We had buttermilk to wash it down, they brought it up in kegs; We had ham and eggs for supper, we had milk instead of cream, And when I went to bed, of ham and eggs I had to dream. The landlord, on a week-day, never left his little perch, But on Sunday he insisted we should go with him to church. He'd march us there in couples, very much against our will, And ev'ry time he used to put a dollar on his bill. 
Oh, those lodgings, those lodgings by the sea, Oh, those lodgings, that are very dear to me. It always cost me fifty cents to use the family comb; Next time I take my holidays I mean to stay at home. 
If a beetle's in your soup it costs you half a dollar more, And the chicken was a rooster in the year of eighty-four; The landlord used to sit beside the door-mat every day; To show he fed as well he stuffed his waistcoat full of hay. His lady she wore "specs" and used to call as all "my dear I" And it always meant a dollar if she whispered in your ear. I had no railroad ticket, so I came home by the boat, But to get the fare I had to go and pawn my overcoat. 
Oh, those lodgings, those lodgings by the sea, Oh, those lodgings, that are very dear to me. To tell you all about it, it would fill an epitome: Next time I take my holidays I mean to stay at home.