Go Tell Your Story To The Phonograph - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
Go Tell Your Story to the Phonograph. Copyright, 1894, by DuBois & Talbot. Words and Music by O. DuBois. 
Most men are pretty sure to fall in love full many times, With pretty maids who charm them And catch them with their smiles; They draw them on to tell their love in their own cunning way, And when poor man his story tells, so quietly they say: 
Chorus. "Go tell your story to the phonograph." That's what they say to us and give us the laugh; They think they're funny when they feed us chaff. And think they've said something new. 
When a politician wants to get a good fat sinecure, He'll promise you this great big earth And perhaps a little more; Then when he gets in office you remind him of his word, he waves you off and proudly says, as he shows to you the door: 
Chorus. "Go tell your story to the phonograph." That's what they say to us und give us the laugh; They've got the wheat and you have got the chaff, And then they are through with you. 
I went down town the other night and had a little time; My money soon was squandered, I didn't have a dime. I went into Delmonico's and eat a sumptuous meal; I said I'd call again And pay, but they quickly answered me: 
Chorus. "Go tell your story to the phonograph." So quickly did they seize me that I hadn't time to laugh; They threw me out of doors and ripped my coat in half-My custom they lost right there. 
I struck a scheme the other day, a source of wealth, I knew; With just a little capital, I knew I'd pull it through, I'd be as rich as Croesus, or any other jay. I took it to a cap'talist, he quietly did say: 
Chorus. "Go tell your story to the phonograph; You think you're smart, my boy, but I think you're daft; Try some one else, my boy, on whom to work your graft, Your scheme won't go down with me."