He Was Such A Funny Old Man - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
He Was Such a Funny Old Man. Copyright, 1893, by Frank Tousey. Words by Tom Conley. Music by Felix McGlennon. 
Last night, let me state, I was out very late, And as towards home I did fly, I met an old man, who, forget I ne'er can, For he laughed and at me winked his eye. He exclaimed, "Oh, you dear, I very much fear It's rather late for You to roam; Now, have no alarm, let me take your arm, Allow me to see you safe home." 
Chorus. And he was such a funny old man, He was such a naughty old boy: He stood me some "Cham "and called me a lamb, And swore I was his only joy; He gave me a squeeze at the door, Forget him, I'm sure I ne'er can. He said: "Pretty Miss," and then took a kiss-Oh, he was such a funny old man. 
He asked me to meet, at the end of the street, Next night when the clock it struck nine; I met him, and then, again and again, He said: "Darling, will you be mine?" I murmured, "Oh, yes-me he did caress, And called me a dear and a love. He said: "I love you," and swore he'd he true As stars that shine brightly above.- Chorus. 
I'm sorry to say that when I named the day, He said he would not marry me, So I went to law, and a lawyer I saw, Who said, very quick, "we shall see!" On the great trial day, the old boy looked gay, And acted in style rather rash; But the Judge he did say: "This girl you must pay The sum of ten thousand in cash!"- Chorus.