I Was Happy, But I Missed A Lot Of Fun - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
I Was Happy, but I Missed a Lot of Fun Copyright, 1894, by T. B. Harms & Co. Words by J. H. Wagner. Music by Custave Kerker. 
When but a tiny little girl I always was most proper: My dollies all were female, And their skirts were extra long, And when you squeez'd them they would squeak, say mildly, "Mamma! Papa!" And make remarks like that, that could not be construed as wrong. I never played at "hide and seek," or "kissing in the ring," And when little boys mine near me I would run; I only read good books and tracts and only hymns would sing; I was happy, but I missed a lot of fun. 
Refrain. And that's how it has ever been my very first endeavor To never do things that should not be done: And we know it is recorded, virtue always is rewarded, So I'm happy, but-I miss a lot of fun! 
When a maiden tall and stately, I would walk along sedately, And always keep my eyes demurely turned towards the ground; When lovers came pursuing, would not listen to their wooing, Till one by one these sighing swains the task quite hopeless found. When other girls went skating or were driving with the boys, Or dancing on the green, when work was done, I only looked with horror on such wicked, worldly joys; I was happy, but I missed a lot of fun. 
Refrain. So, girls, if you would ever make It your supreme endeavor To only do the things that should be done, Stick to goodness and to piety and shun all male society; You'll be happy, but-you'll miss a lot of fun!